Full of Thanks!

WOW! This Thanksgiving I have so much to be thankful for. I was taken off my liquid diet within about two weeks of Thanksgiving dinner so I could practice chewing. I think I may have gone through each Thanksgiving of my life and have never felt grateful for the ABILITY to CHEW! This year, that was different. I emailed this photo to my facial surgeon (who gave me the ability to chew and told me to practice up for turkey day) to hopefully show my appreciation to him! What a delicious dinner! It was nice not to have to put it in a blender ;)

I have more to be grateful for than this blog can hold, so just know that I am thankful for all of you readers of the blog that have been praying for me and sending some POSITIVITY my way. I think I wouldn't be healing as fast without your help!

This was R2D2 day! Rustin and I celebrated with our R2D2 beanies that were hand-crafted by my friend in San Diego for me. How amazing is she? And she's not even a Star Wars fan! That is love, right there. They are my favorite beanies. This was right before a very long awaited visit to some of my dearest friends at work that have been so supportive and amazing to me. It was fun to see them and I wore my Millennium Falcon t-shirt in honor of them. Sweet little Applets.

After my work visit we went to our favorite Jamba Juice! We thought it would be fun to take some cross-eyed pictures of ourselves. We do that to practice exercising my left eye but it was fun to have some assistance.

This is a picture of me with my favorite Christmas decoration of my Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar. I put the legos together every day! I was excited this day because I got the X-wing fighter and Luke Skywalker. I also have some exciting news, because I was a little sad that I wouldn't be able to enjoy Star Wars in 3D but Rustin and I tested my 3D vision on his brother's 3D TV and I was able to see the 3D CLEARLY! The depth is a little less but it is CLEAR. This is exciting for me because I am going to be able to go see the movie in the theaters with all my fellow nerds!

Rustin and I got our Christmas tree early this year. It's a BIG tree!

For my therapy I have been trying to get up the gusto to put lights on the tree. I finally had a night when I had the energy to do it! Luckily my sweet parents said they would come help me. My sweet dad helped me with the tree and my sweet mom helped me decorate the house (something she is a natural at).

Enjoying the fruits of our labors! Merry Christmas Everyone!

The Tooth Fairy!

Hi Everyone,

I know people have been asking for updates on the blog. I am excited to actually be the one to update you all on the blog, since I owe lots of you a large part of my existence. I am so grateful for all the prayers, fastings, well-wishes and positive thoughts that have been coming my way and I owe a large part of my healing to all of YOU! I can't even say that I'm grateful because the way I feel about the love and support I have received is deeper than that. I wish there were words to express my gratitude and appreciation but "gratitude" and "appreciation" are all I can think of. I am overwhelmed by your love.

So let me give you a quick update on me. I'm doing quite well. Recovering from a brain injury can be time consuming and energy consuming. I can tell you all that my body is feeling pretty good. Most of the damage occurred on the left side of my body. It's healed really well. There are only two things that are interesting to me. I have a knee injury, which doesn't hurt, but it is just swollen and tight. It has been healing over time. I also have a compression fracture in my spine (and a couple in my neck) that acts up from time to time and causes a little pain. Other than that, it's smooth sailing for the rest of injuries that I sustained and they have all healed great!

The big part of the healing has to happen on my head. I have recovered very well according to my doctor's that have fixed the facial fractures and optics. I am so grateful for those doctors. Those are some seriously blessed hands. I learned I had quite a few fractures behind both eye sockets. I am lucky I am able to see out of my right eye. I have lost all vision in my left eye. The only real bummer about losing the vision in my left eye is that Star Wars is coming out in 3D and I will be unable to enjoy it in 3D because of the loss of vision in my left eye. Let me just say that I am extremely grateful for the vision in my right eye because I can still watch Star Wars in Blu-Ray and 7.1 surround sound in my jammies with some chocolate ice cream and my Spiderman blanket in absolute BLISS. Having perfect vision in my right eye is something I am terribly grateful for,

again. Star Wars in 3D is definitely ok for me to miss out on.

Another exciting piece of news is that I have had my front tooth repaired last week. It turns out I have quite a few cracks in the teeth along the top of my jaw, however the teeth are unlikely to be further damaged. Now I have attached a before and after picture, neither of which is terribly flattering, but you can see the difference.

I just love my dentist for the great job he did. It is very exciting to have my smile back!

Another exciting piece of news as of last Wednesday is that I am able to start eating soft foods in order to practice for Thanksgiving! I've been eating lots and lots of soups and Jamba Juices since I left the hospital. This has actually been awesome since so many people are so nice to make us soup! I am excited to actually be able to chew food at Thanksgiving dinner though. I am very excited about this.

Another challenge is my hearing in both ears has been funny, but mostly the left side. There is fluid in my ears and they said it will drain naturally in time. The good news is that it's working! The fluid is draining and my hearing is coming back better and better every week.

The other challenge, for me alone, is the mullet that I have. This is in part because my brain is becoming more and more self-aware and self-conscious day by day. I am so excited because my hair is growing so fast and all the scabs and scars on my head are healing and are starting to be covered by my sweet mullet.

Now, the biggest challenge is to recover from the brain injury. Like I said, this is challenging because my brain gets tired and overwhelmed much quicker than it used to. Some things are also mis-indexed and harder to find for me. That is normal for someone with a brain injury and I feel like I am making progress on recovering. This will just take time. Rustin is assigned as my 24-7 nurse. He is supposed to make sure I don't fall down and that I make good decisions. He has been so amazing through this. We work on about 4 hours of therapy per day by ourselves and then we have therapies to attend three times per week at TOSH Medical Center. My therapists are amazing and so helpful. They are making sure I'm progressing as much as possible in the time we have together. My brain definitely gets tired during the day so I need to rest it whenever it needs resting. We are also making sure I get all the right nutrients for my brain and body to continue healing.

Well, that is a much longer update than I intended for you all. I'm going to need a nap after this. But I am so grateful for all the love and kindness I have received from all of you and am so incredibly astounded at the difference you all made in my healing process. I love you and am so thankful for you all. I have been so blessed.

Scary Tales

So, last week was Halloween.  Delightedly, we were able to maintain our tradition of attending Witches Tea at Grand America.  Mostly, we've kept it to the girls with Clark in attendance as a cat, our witches' familiar.  (See dictionary definition of familiar - a demon supposedly attending and obeying a witch, often said to assume the form of an animal.)  However, it has turned out to be enough fun that Rick and Rustin joined the troops.  

 We rejoiced that Nicole was with us again.  It was a perfect menu for her because tea is the perfect thing for someone on a "no-chew" diet.

Nicole told us of what she and Rustin learned at their visit to the hospital. Immediately after her two brain surgeries, she had responded when the doctors asked her to lift two fingers and/or give a thumbs up.  Then nothing - no response for several days.  She described a point/counterpoint scenario that occurred.  The medical team was meeting in one room of the ICU deciding how to tell us that they feared Nicole was brain dead.  The family was meeting in another room deciding how to ask more people to pray for her recovery.  Obviously, the prayers carried the day.  I wonder if indeed, she left us for a while only to be brought back by the fervent prayers of those who love her so very deeply and those kind enough to pray for someone in need that they did not know well.  I believe every prayer was heard and answered.

 Last weekend was the Cowboy Poetry Festival in Heber City, Utah.  My dear cousin, Anna, came from California to visit and attend the Festival.  The night she arrived, we all met for dinner reunion with our California family  at Trolley Square.  Anna was incredulous that Nicole could come.  Anna thought Nicole's recovery is miraculous.  It truly is.

 On Saturday Jeff, Rick and I braved the snowstorm and headed up to Heber to see the cowboys; and there were some dandy ones.  Jeff, decked out in his Clint Eastwood hat, levis, cowboy boots and flannel shirt, was among them.  We listened to the "Sons of the San Joaquin" perform and then headed over to Jenny's house for homemade soup.  It was the perfect menu for a sunny snow-covered afternoon.

 All of us went to the 3:00 pm comedy concert featuring Baxter Black, cowboy poet.  Baxter pretty much had people rolling in the aisles.  This veterinarian-turned poet knows all the ins and outs of a cow.  The vendors on site at the festival sell the most fabulous, high-end cowboy gear I've ever seen; saddles, custom-made hats, cowboy boots, clothing, rocking horses, and fine art.  I was captivated by a female artist's carved gourds.  These beauties cost a few thousand dollars each but as you can see, they are works of art.

Early this week, I went with Nicole to a follow-up appointment with the plastic surgeon who reconstructed her face.  She had previously met with the ocular surgeon who advised her to wear glasses for the rest of her life to protect her right eye.  He said there is only a 1% chance she will regain vision in her left eye and if an accident happens, it always seems to endanger the vision in a person's good eye, not the damaged one.  She has picked out a cute pair of glasses that will protect her right eye.  

The plastic surgeon said she was doing remarkably well.  Her facial bones have healed enough that she can now begin chewing soft foods - well-cooked vegetables or maybe even a French fry! He said that the bone damage around her right eye was almost identical to the damage around the left eye.  She is incredibly lucky to have any vision at all.  Yet, she is blessed with very good vision in her right eye.  As I ponder what is and what could have been, I am moved with how obviously blessed we are.  Blessed by skilled and caring doctors and undoubtedly, the hand of God.  

Happy Again!

The extended Cannon family has come together often the past two months, for occasions like fasting for Nicole after her horrible accident and for Kevin Hegewald's funeral.  During those occasions, we came together with heavy hearts.  One bleak day at the hospital with Nicole, I recall trying to buoy myself up.  I engaged in some positive thinking.  I told myself that time would pass.  We would deal with whatever we had to deal with and in the future, we would share good times once again.  We would continue to feel love for one another.  Sometime in the future, we would feel happiness.

A couple of weeks ago, with the same idea as expressed in the song, "We Need a Little Christmas", I decided "We Need a Little Halloween"!  So we put up an "Over the Rainbow" of balloons and donned our Wizard of Oz costumes for a "Wicked" Cannon Family Halloween party.  Make-up artist, Kristen came to my house and gave me a deliciously green face to complete my Wicked Elphaba look.  My heart melted (appropriately) when three darling little Dorothy's came with Toto's in baskets.  Assorted witches, wizards, superheroes, aliens, ladybugs and others filled out the ranks.  

Our official greeter to Oz was Amanda, as Glinda the Good.  Those willing to eat brain or heart jello earned candy bar treats from Clark the Cowardly Lion for their courage.  Kids proved their Scarecrow-like brains in Oz trivia.  Tin Man Carole showed us all how to have a heart in a game of "Do You Love Your Neighbor?" Are my kids good sports or what?  Maybe they're just used to me.

The thrill of the evening was having Nicole there with us.  While waiting for her facial surgery to heal, she is on a no-chew diet, so it's soup every day.  She even was able to swallow a tiny spoonful of brain jello.  She was a gracious conversationalist; everyone wanted to talk to her.   My positive thinking that dreary day at the hospital had come to pass.  I felt love and happiness, together with family again.

P.S.  After the party, I attempted to post pictures on my Mobile Me gallery and send the link to the family to see.  Shortly after sending that email, I got a response from Nicole letting me know that I had done it wrong (as usual) and needed to send them a link she included so they could see the pictures.  I re-sent the correct link but it made me question - whose brain is working and whose isn't?  Maybe I need to eat some more of that jello.

Luck? Miracle? Answers to Prayer?

Nicole and Rustin took treats to the hospital to thank personnel in the Intensive Care Unit and in Rehabilitation who had been especially memorable and helpful.  Rustin had to introduce her to those in ICU since although she had regained consciousness before she left, she has no memory of being there or of her stay in the hospital much before her last week there.

One ICU nurse was our favorite.  He was so expert in the care he gave Nicole and in the counsel and support he gave to us.  Nicole got to meet him and he was so happy and amazed to see her and talk to her.  The outcome of her situation was very much in doubt when she left the ICU.  He told her that there had been 36 head injury patients in the ICU this past season.  Of 36 only three have been able to walk out the hospital.  She is one of the three.  I remember the night he told us there was a possibility she would have to live in a long-term care facility for the rest of her life.  That was about two days after the swelling in her brain went down enough they thought she would live.  He mentioned how shocked everyone was when shortly after she regained consciousness, she decided to get up and go for a walk around ICU.  They were trying to get all her lines and equipment ready to go with her but she was so speedy, this was a trick.  The physical therapists had to come running to keep up with her.

After visiting with more hospital personnel, she came home and told us more details of her surgeries.

Nicole has nine plates in her reconstructed face.

There are 54 pins holding those plates in place.

Twelve pins are on either side of her skull, holding the skull in place after brain surgery.

Thirty pins in her face are holding the nine plates in place.

All the pins are made of titanium like her first mac computer. (Nicole's analogy, not mine.)

In college, Nicole and Carole worked at the U of U Medical Center machine shop - where those tiny titanium pins are manufactured.  At that time they cost about $200 each.  Hence, just the pins in Nicole's face & head cost about $10,800 several years ago.  We're on "pins" and needles to find out what they cost today.  Whatever the cost; they are so worth it.  Nicole is still with us.  She is doing so well.  We feel so blessed to be with her.

Blessings

Last weekend there were blessings aplenty for the Cannon family.  Our third grandchild, a lovely little girl, was born to Scott and Mitzi on Friday September 2nd in Boise, Idaho - the day before Nicole's accident September 3rd.  We found ourselves in the midst of great joy (at the baby's birth) counterpointed with great sorrow (at Nicole's horrific injuries).  We experienced this whole gamut of emotion in one weekend.  

Jeff and I had planned to go to Boise as soon as the baby came home from the Boise hospital.  Instead, we stayed at the Salt Lake hospital with Nicole for the next thirty-nine days.  By that time, my heart was aching to see not only our new little granddaughter, but her siblings, Corbin and Gabby, as well.  Scott and Mitzi volunteered to come to Salt Lake with the three little ones in tow to see us and Nicole, and to do the baby blessing in our Ward.

Even though that Sunday was our Primary program, the Bishopric kindly gave permission to bless the baby that Sunday.  Scott, surrounded by family and friends, took his tiny little girl in his arms and gave her the name, Piper Cannon.  Then he gave her a beautiful blessing.  I remember being impressed that the first thing he mentioned was that she would be blessed with a love of the scriptures.  Two kind friends made notes of the blessing and brought them to us to keep.

At the conclusion of Piper's blessing, Jeff took the mike.  He explained to our Ward congregation that this little granddaughter had been born the day before we very nearly lost Nicole, our own daughter.  The morning after her accident had been fast Sunday, and we asked for prayers in behalf of Nicole. We knew that many people in that room had prayed for her and those prayers had been answered because Nicole was there today with us to see Piper blessed.  

After the meeting, sweet Nicole was surrounded by caring neighbors and long-time friends so happy to see her.  I watched as she met Dr. Van Boerum, her trauma doctor, for the first time.  She recognized him from seeing his picture in the hospital and from what we had told her about our neighbor being there to care for her right after the two brain surgeries.  She arose from her seat and reached out to hug him and thank him with a warm embrace.  It was the first time she had met him and been conscious. 

That afternoon was filled with family and friends and food and rejoicing at our home.  I got to see my little grandchildren for four days in a row!  When they arrived, I swept little Gabby up in my arms and she screamed bloody murder - as usual.  However, I just whisked her away to see all the Halloween things at our house.  She quit screaming and actually "liked" me and would come to me and say "Nana" the whole weekend.  This is a big step forward for us.  Before, she has only "liked" Jeff, her "papa".  Corbin, as always, is the light of my life.  He loved the giraffe Halloween costume I bought for him.  He literally wore it every chance he got the whole time he was here.  Nana was thrilled.  He also taught me how to play video games.  I have never played video games but Scott has taught Corbin a few and he, in turn, taught me.  My little character would die or do the wrong thing and he would take my controller and say, "Let me help you, Nana." 

He did help me.  And so did his family.  They came to us; they shared their new baby and joy with us.  They encircled our family all together again with love and support.  Nicole was there.  Piper was there.  Behold, our joy is full.   

In Her Own Words - A Message from Nicole

Thank you doesn't quite cover it. I feel like a miracle having been through two brain surgeries and that's just the beginning. All your thoughts, well-wishes, prayers, fasting, powers of the force, whatever have been so amazingly helpful. I'm so appreciative. Thank you more than "thank you" can come close to saying. I'm so incredibly grateful for all your help. I love all of you.

Homecoming - There's no place like home

Nicole saying goodbye to Jami and Megan.

Coming home to Han Solo and the Force

There were some tender feelings yesterday; joy is so often mixed with sorrow.  Joy at being able to come home; sorrow at leaving those who have taken such kind, attentive care of her.  Nicole got a full day of final therapy sessions - complete with instructions on how to carry on by herself and with the new therapists she will meet as in outpatient rehabilitation.  She has come to love her speech therapist, especially and has very warm feelings for her physical therapists and occupational therapists as well.  Change is always challenging; especially when you have only recently had to acknowledge that you have awakened from a terrible accident which has left you with brain injury, visual and hearing deficients and all of September pretty much passed you by.  Now you have huge issues to deal with.

Speaking of those issues, through physical therapy we discovered that Nicole also has a hairline fracture in her left fibula.  With everything else so traumatized, we hadn't noticed until she started jumping and hopping on that leg in physical therapy.  The MRI showed the tiny fracture.  I was also told that she had nine - yes, nine - plates put into her face during the facial reconstruction - a complete makeover I'd say.  The doctors did a remarkable job.  She will be on a special diet for a month and a half (until the week before Thanksgiving).  She cannot eat anything except soft, pureed foods.  No chewing will give her totally new upper jaw full of new plates and broken bones time to heal.  So she will be chew- free for a while yet.

We left the hospital toting four boxes and two carts full of memorabilia that is becoming more and more precious to her as she realizes how kind and concerned people have been during her recovery.  When we got to her home, her siblings had left a surprise for her.  The Star Wars poster was hanging along her kitchen wall.  Han Solo, the coolest guy in the galaxy, was there to greet her and more beautiful autumn flowers.  She has seen the poster before but really hasn't had the time or energy to take it all in.  I watched as she touched it and read many of the greetings.  Tears came to her eyes.

Since September 3rd, 2011 a lot has happened.  Nicole is just beginning to take it all in.  At the hospital she is considered a miracle patient.  Her recovery has been rapid beyond what we could expect or hope.  She is a success story - We have prayer her back to us.  Our prayers have been answered.  A new beginning is before us.

Rustin Update for October 10th

Another milestone was reached yesterday.  The feeding tube has been removed.  Yeah!!!  She is so happy  She is enjoying being able to lay on both sides of her face comfortably now.  Hopefully we will have more good news today.  Stay tuned . . .

We just passed the swallowing thin liquids test!  We passed.  We passed!  We passed ! ! We passed ! ! !
And right now she in in heaven enjoying a big glass of water.  Thank you so much everyone for your prayers.

Miracles Come in Baby Steps

Sunday is a time to pause and reflect upon the past week.  It has been a week of daily rejoicing.  Each day Nicole's condition has improved.  Each day there have been tiny bits of good news regarding her recovery.  I've wanted to spent every possible moment at the hospital so I won't miss the latest gain she has made.  Each day I feel like "our" Nicole is closer and closer to being with us again.

I was with her during some cognitive testing last week.  Afterwards, the tester commented that she had gone from a score of 10 initially, to 16, to 27.  He was impressed at her progress over just a few days.  Several times I have watched her in a therapy session when asked to do something challenging, Nicole will pause and exclaim, "Oh, mercy!" or "Mercy child!"  Then she does whatever they ask her to do.  I chuckled as I observed an occupational therapy session this week.  The therapist told Nicole he was taking his family to Universal Studios in Orlando to see Harry potter land and he wanted her to help him find the best deal on airline tickets on the computer.  He sort of pushed the computer at her.  "You want me to show you how to find the best deal?" she questioned and placed the computer back in front of him, saying she would be happy to show him how to do it.  He didn't realize that for a few years now Nicole has been teaching people how to do anything and everything with a computer.  He reiterated that he wanted HER to do it.  So she did quickly and efficiently.  She even took him to some speciality Harry potter websites, like mugglenet.com to look for special deals in Harry potter land.  She passed that therapy session with flying colors - red and gold for Gryffindor.


She has been able to leave the hospital for a few hours each day this week.  She tires easily but her endurance and energy improve daily.  Monday she went for a short drive.   Tuesday she ate her hospital tray food with us out on our deck. Wednesday she had an outing with a therapist; they went to Walmart and had her find all the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies.  Thursday she made the cookies at the hospital rehab kitchen.  Friday she came to our house to eat dinner with a few of her former roommates (the Gapa girls) in celebration of Liz's birthday.  They all brought their own food and Nicole had her hospital tray.  She was able to eat enough food that day so she could sleep without having her feeding tube hooked up to the noisy machine that rattles and hums all night long! In fact, both she and Rustin slept till 8AM the next morning - first time since she came out of a coma that she slept through the night!  Saturday she came to have brunch at Coachman's with Aunt Anita and Uncle Bob who are here visiting from St. Louis.  The rest of us had food.  Nicole just had a glass of water.  This was the first time she could have water through a straw instead of on a teaspoon.  I sat next to her and watched her repeatedly take a small sip and then concentrate on swallowing it.  She did this over and over.  They re-filled her glass four times.  She said that to her water is the drink of the Gods!  It tasted so wonderful.  She gave us her assessment of her condition.  She was surprised to find out that in addition to everything else, she had three broken ribs.  Yes, she did.  On top of everything else, they seemed less important and we are hoping that almost a month in a hospital bed has allowed them to heal.  She said she feels that her brain function and capabilities are coming back to her.  Her major deficit is the vision in her left eye.  She told us she can see very well out of the right eye, but she can hardly see anything out of the left.  She says the hearing in her left ear is diminished also.  Don't overlook that despite the fact there is still some damage, she is communicating with us and she is aware of us.  Those are blessings we did not enjoy a short time ago..

A week ago she was speaking in a high-pitched, breathy whisper.  Each day her voice has gotten a little stronger and the pitch and cadence of her speech more Nicole-sounding.

I look back on the last 5-6 weeks and recognize that the hardest thing I have dealt with is my fear.  First my feat the Nicole would not come out of a coma.  Then my fear that the 8 hours of anesthesia necessary for her facial reconstruction surgery had caused permanent brain damage.  It set her cognition back so far.  In each instance, just as I was on the brink of despair, she improved.  My fears were eventually dispelled.  At some point, I felt the comforter's assurance that Nicole would recover and with that assurance came peace.  There is no place for fear when peace comes.  Now I am watching the miracles come; they are coming in baby steps, but they are coming.

There is now talk about releasing her from the hospital - maybe on Tuesday.  If she is able to consume a sufficient number of calories over the next few days, they will consider removing the feeding tube that was sewn into her nose and down her throat during the facial reconstruction surgery.  That would be wonderful.  Another adventure awaits - bringing her home.